November 11th, 2003

Peacock

(no subject)

i got this off of one of my subbies only mailing lists and, even though i do not have kids, i am laughing so hard i've nearly wet myself.

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:
Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding):
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape, It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful.
25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Peacock

Radio made me cry...i loved it

i had a great day yesterday, except that i was alone. The only thing that could have made it better was by sharing it with someone.

i just stayed up from work because i didn't get off til 5:20 and mom was already up, so i made coffee and breakfast for her and chatted a bit while she got ready for work. After she left, i did nap for about 45 minutes in the recliner (i only get to sit in the recliner when she is away or in the shower or sleeping). When i woke up, i put a chicken in the crock pot, got dressed and left. i drove to tyler and checked out what movies were playing. i had decided to see either Radio, Beyond Borders, or Love Actually, after getting permission from Sir to go (it was such an awesome feeling asking his permission to do it). Radio was the only one playing and i had a couple of hours before it started, so i went to Target and got some things for mom to make thank you gifts for some ladies at work (a bag with biscotti, chocolate and homemade spiced tea mix...yum). i also got myself some new sleep pants since i *lived* in the 2 pair i have all weekend. i figure when it gets really cold, i'm going to need them. It was then off to starbucks where i got a non fat latte and a pumpkin scone. i smuggled them both into the movie by pouring the latte into a small thermos and stuff both it and the scone into my jacket pockets...i'm such a naughty girl. i saw that Radio started at 11:40, then Runaway Jury was at 2:05, so i called Sir and asked if i may see both...had to leave a message, though. i went ahead to Radio...

The rest of my dayCollapse )