It is so sticky and warm feels like may or june, only not as hot, but not as pretty. This weather reminds me of the coast, and i hated the weather there. It's been so freaky lately. It was in the 50s for the high Saturday, supposed to get up to 80 today, then the high tomorrow isn't going to reach 60. What kind of crazy mixed up mess is that??

i woke this morning after only 4 hours of sleep to no outage in our area. i tried to sleep more after making the calls to see what was going on, but i couldn't sleep. i'm in such a blah mood that i ate french fries (oven baked) for breakfast (i never eat breakfast), skipped curves, and bought chocolate. i've already eaten a few pieces. (For the chocolate lovers reading this, try Lily O'Briens...not the best, but not bad. Definitely better than American chocolate.)

Now i'm going to go make my noon call to Sir, watch Pepper Ann, snuggle with the snowman stuffed animal i got and eat a couple more chocolates (maybe...feeling ill, though). After that, it'll prolly be nap time =)

Radio made me cry...i loved it

i had a great day yesterday, except that i was alone. The only thing that could have made it better was by sharing it with someone.

i just stayed up from work because i didn't get off til 5:20 and mom was already up, so i made coffee and breakfast for her and chatted a bit while she got ready for work. After she left, i did nap for about 45 minutes in the recliner (i only get to sit in the recliner when she is away or in the shower or sleeping). When i woke up, i put a chicken in the crock pot, got dressed and left. i drove to tyler and checked out what movies were playing. i had decided to see either Radio, Beyond Borders, or Love Actually, after getting permission from Sir to go (it was such an awesome feeling asking his permission to do it). Radio was the only one playing and i had a couple of hours before it started, so i went to Target and got some things for mom to make thank you gifts for some ladies at work (a bag with biscotti, chocolate and homemade spiced tea mix...yum). i also got myself some new sleep pants since i *lived* in the 2 pair i have all weekend. i figure when it gets really cold, i'm going to need them. It was then off to starbucks where i got a non fat latte and a pumpkin scone. i smuggled them both into the movie by pouring the latte into a small thermos and stuff both it and the scone into my jacket pockets...i'm such a naughty girl. i saw that Radio started at 11:40, then Runaway Jury was at 2:05, so i called Sir and asked if i may see both...had to leave a message, though. i went ahead to Radio...

The rest of my dayCollapse )

(no subject)

i got this off of one of my subbies only mailing lists and, even though i do not have kids, i am laughing so hard i've nearly wet myself.

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:
Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding):
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape, It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful.
25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

(no subject)

i didn't sleep last night after work because dad was coming to do some stuff. i'm so wiped, but have my second wind. i need to try to go to sleep soon, though.

Things with B are going well. i'm going to start referring to him as "Sir" though since that's what i call him irl and since i have another B in my life. Anyway, we talk every day. i'm hoping soon we can get together again and have an intense "get to know you" type thing. It's so hard to make myself go slwo in all this and make sure it's right. i want so badly to just dive in headfirst. That never works out, though...ever...and Sir seems very content to take things as slow as i need to. He really is so different than anything i have ever had...ever.

B is going to visit a friend in OKC tomorrow and she swears we're going to get together. i'm glad because i've missed talking with her online. i would love it if she lived closer.

i feel so sorry for my dad. he has worked so hard with M and still he's a jerk. There is such a fine fine line between love and hate, and i tread it where my brother is concerned.

i need to go back in my entries and make everything readable again. i was a moron thinking i might could fix things with Eric, so i hid it all just in case he found this. He hated before when i had an online diary and didn't tell him. He and i are on such different wavelengths, though. There is no way in th world i could ever get from him what i need. Sometimes, even though you're sub, you have to be strong with someone. It was hard, but it's over with him.

i have seen so many movies over the last 2 days...It Runs In the Family (good), Savage Messiah (excellent), The Pilot's Wife (very good), Kissing Amy Stein (wonderful), and...uhm...oh! Evelyn (excellent). i'm pretty movie'ed out right now, but Driving Miss Daisy is on in the background.

Okay, time to try to get some sleep. 2 1/2 hours inthe last 36 hours isn't good for someone over 30.

Burned tongues suck!

i made homemade chicken soup for mom because she has the flu. i love cooking and miss it sometimes. However, i heated some for my "lunch" tonight and tried eating it when it was too hot...ouch!

i told B about my new "man" (who is also a B, coincidentally). She asked me some things about the whole situation that i hadn't thought to ask, so i just emailed him and asked if we could have a chat about them. i just want to make sure i don't fuck up again in a relationship by getting into something wrong too fast.

Work is dragging tonight and i am so ready for it to be over. i was going to go to the movie tomorrow, but i think i'm going to be too i have to take mom to get her car from the shop then run her grades to her school (half an hour one way) since she's staying home again tomorrow. i get so tired of taking care of her sometimes.

i got the weirdest news this morning. A girl i was friends with when i was younger died. She was about 2 years older than me. We don't know the details, but she went in for some surgery and had a heart attack while on the table and died...sheesh. What's really bad is her sister who was my age died of a ruptured anurism about 2 years ago. i feel so sorry for their mom.


Okay, so i have a new "love interest." We met on a dating chat line quite a while ago...maybe 6 weeks or so. We've been talking almost every day since then, and in the course of all this, we've discovered many similarities...mainly, he's dominant and i'm subbie. Well, as we've talked and gotten to know each other, he's taken more and more control. i won't outline every single detail of it all here, but it's good so far...i'm loving how it's progressing and how i feel in it all. We met for the first time monday. Unfortunately it was a very short meeting, but we're planning to meet again and i'm going to ask him if i may submit to him at that meeting. Yay me. He's really great, too. All his ideas on how a relationship like this should work match mine...its wonderful. He's so attentive, too...calls me a few times a day on days he can. He even calls me when he's traveling. Mind blowing...i love it.

Otherwise, things are good. We had a blast at the wedding...i adore flying. i talked to my friend B and she invited me to come see her in Seattle, so i may be going there the end of January. i'm going to do everything i can to get there, anyway.

i think i've decided to not keep the work journal anymore. It used to take me an hour or so to type in the entry for each time...and while it is fun and i like the idea of having it, spending that much time on work-related stuff after working is kind of overwhelming. i'm not 100% sure i'm going to not do it anymore, but about 75% sure. We'll see.

i am going to start a new journal, seperate from this one, all about the subbie side of me. i think that now that i have a real relationship along those that has the potential to go would benefit me a lot to keep it.

My cousin and her hubby from N.D. came down this past weekend. Mom threw me a curveball and asked me if i would mind if she told them they could stay here a little while if they moved to Texas. What am i going to say? It's her pace...i'm just a tenant. I'm not totally happy about it, though. i adore my cousin and her husband, but 4 adults in one house? And one of them a guy?? and them on the sleeper sofa in the living room??? Sheesh. i'm thinking it's getting close to time for me to move out. i told mom i could swing giving them around $400 a month for a few months to get them set up in an apartment...we'll see. They seemed like they were going to come when they left, but they might change their minds.

Okay, time to run to curves. i have a new goal of getting back to at least 3 workouts a well as doing better with my eating because i have been way out of control with it and my weight loss has slowed...and keeping this more regularly.

(no subject)

i'm alive, i promise.

i'm meeting Bill, someone new, on Monday. Fingers and toes crossed it'll be something good. It seems good so far if our phone conversations are any indication.

i had a *fabulous* time at the wedding. And now, one of the cousins from up there is coming here tonight to visit with her hubby. i've been busy getting ready for them all week, cleaning and cooking and such.

Have to get back to cleaning...just an "i'm alive!" and Happy Halloween...and an "i *swear* i'm going to write more soon" (haven't we all heard that before?) i'm definitely going to write about Monday's meeting.

(no subject)

Today is a day of cleaning out....lots of things.

i actually may have met someone...we haven't met face to face yet, but have talked on the phone lots. He lives in Dallas. We're planning to meet sometime after i return from North Dakota (leaving a week from today and arriving back the 19th). i'm really looking forward to it and am hoping this is something that will be good.

i swear i have been getting responses from people, i just haven't been replying. i'll get better when i get back from ND...i want to get better about keeping up with correspondence and such.

More later

(no subject)

i'm still alive, just bad about turning on the computer.

i started a novel and am determined to finish it.

i've tossed my hat into the dating i just need someone to date ;)

i have been getting the responses to my posts people have posted, but haven't replied to them and i'm sorry...i'm a bad girl (anyone wanna spank me?)

i caught my mom masturbating in the living room a few weeks ago ***SHUDDER*** i think it's time to start thinking about other living arrangements

my brother had a seizure at an astros game last week and scared the shit out of all of us, but mostly my dad. i also met his (my brother's) new girlfriend and actually like her.

i'm thinking of going back to school for training in the medical field...computers, like medical records and the like.

it sucks being a hopeless romantic with no one to share the romance with.

(no subject)

Today was a *gorgeous* day....we had the house open almost all day and sat on the front porch for most of the morning. i had missed taking naps in the afternoon with the breeze blowing through the open windows, but i got to do that today. i'm looking forward to more days like today.

i've played hooky from work the last few days...Thurs through part of tonight. i have to clock in in half an hour, though. i just needed the time off. i'm planning on taking some days off when mom's on her fall break so that we can hang together...then i'll have a few days off to fly to ND for brian's wedding. After that, i'm going to try to not miss anything until Christmastime. i'd like to take my week's vaca then, then also take a week off with attendance points. i should be able to swing it.

i'm reading Pride and Prejudice, because i've never read it and adore the movie. i'll do Sense and Sensibility next probably. i also made a goal yesterday to have my first novel finished 2 years from then. If all goes well and i do what i want, i should have it done far before then. i'm always looking to give myself some leeway though.

i need to get my bed made before work. i hate working overnights. i'm thinking i might ask for a schedule change. We'll see.

i miss being with someone. i keep waiting for Mr Right to come along. i signed up on a couple of matchmaker websites with only one response to any of my ads. i'm in the middle of the sign up for another now. i keep hoping to find someone to share things with. i miss having someone.